Being alive is trauma and harm. Everyday is trauma. The day to day wears on us, wears us into new versions of ourselves. We learn from every interaction we have. We grow a better understanding and new reflexes to protect us from it. We are continuously hurt over and over again by our own survival needs. Our brain subconsciously tries to make choices to protect us but the destruction from life is far too inevitable. The trauma and pain swirl around us forming a Storm of Self Destruction.

It’s not about ‘if’ a storm will come, it’s about ‘when.’

We break down in a multitude of ways. The first time I remember being completely broken down was when I was put in the special wing of the hospital. I was still in middle school. I hurt myself. I broke my own heart. I blamed myself and then punished myself for it. I don’t even know what broke me now. I found it in myself and somehow walked toward healing. And then I broke again. I have broken again and again - and I always will. I will always be with the person that tried to kill me. I reopen ruptures and then rupture deeper. I heal and rupture elsewhere. That is what life creeping in does.